Somethings Wonderful

Some wonderful things are happening in my life these days.

My niece moved in today, to live with me while she goes to school. This is very cool because I am privileged to be part of her life on a daily basis now. Full of wonder.

I also received a request from a fellow podcaster to be part of his podcast in a way that is incredibly honoring to me. Full of wonder.

Today makes me remember a comic from Tiny Ghosts

tinyghosts240

http://www.tinyghosts.com/archive/tinyghosts240.html

And if you’re not familiar with the webcomic, go read the archive now. You won’t be sorry.

Because LIFE!

There’s a debate going on these days about whether or not it is okay to tell fat people or fat children that they are just fine the way they are. There’s this odd fear that if you do so, you’ll be condoning their “self-destructive” behavior…that shaming or constantly reminding them of their need to change is the only way to move them towards “health.”

Sounds a lot like the fundamentalist Christian attitude toward the LGBT community, but I digress.

Here’s the deal. No one has any right to tell another person how to live their life. No one has any right to shame another person based on their looks.

I am 5’6″ tall and weigh 213 pounds. I waver between a size 16 and 18. And I’m done trying to be something I’m not.

In the past week, I’ve begun choosing joy. I’ve begun looking for happiness in the body that I’m in, rather than hoping for happiness once I’ve changed. There’s no time for that; life is now! I have a trip to London coming up that I’ve been dreaming of since I was a kid. I couldn’t care less what my body looks like for it. I’m not going there to impress anyone. I’m going there to BE. IN. LONDON.

To just be. That is the point of life. To be you. And if you’re fat, be joyous. Why? Because you’re alive, you’re living, and there’s no one else out there that can live it like you.

And let’s look at the lean community’s blatant double-standard. They are so afraid of accepting fat people as they are because being overweight could shorten that person’s lifespan. So…what’s with all these extreme sports? How many lean people die every year from their dangerous sporting choices? A lean body doesn’t do you any good when something goes wrong on your base jump. But such obviously dangerous life choices are okayed and the newly-dead are celebrated because, as their grieving friends will say, “They died doing what they love.”

If we are supposed to celebrate someone who reveled in life-threatening behavior because it gave them joy, then stop staring judgmentally at the fat person enjoying an ice cream cone. You have no idea who they have helped, how much they are loving those who need it, and what contribution they are bringing to society in ways that have nothing to do with their size.

Life is to be lived as each individual chooses to live it. It doesn’t matter when you die as long as you’ve lived your life to your satisfaction.

Comfort

This sounds cliché but I am working hard on letting myself just be myself. I’m a plus size woman and have struggled with my weight all my life. Then I see strong, healthy people like Paul Walker get killed in a car crash and I think, “What did all that fitness do for him in the end?” All this energy and thought time we spend on fretting over our bodies…for what? A few extra years at the end of our life that we are not even guaranteed? I think what is really important (despite that darned desire to just fit in) is that we are giving love and receiving love. I mean, really, if that is happening, if love is happening in our lives then our jeans size begins to shrink in importance, if not in reality. :) It’s hard. It takes fighting decades of ingrained thought processes that make me see myself in pieces and parts instead of how I see my friends and loved ones: as whole people. Their body size is of so little importance to me; I want to see myself that way, too. It takes a huge burden off to let that go. And is a great comfort.

Sea Change

I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my mom and brother. We talked about all kinds of stuff, saw “Skyfall,” and just plain hung out, enjoying being together. One of the things we talked about was my desire to change what I’m doing with my life. As a writer and actress, I really want to pursue the artistic side of me. The problem is, a full time administrator job makes it really difficult to channel energy into the creative stuff. A full-time job takes my best time. Don’t get me wrong. I am BLESSED to have my job and I know it. I wouldn’t even be able to consider a life change like this without all the benefits my job as afforded me. I just think I’d be spending a lot of my life in a sad place if I chose to stay for the sake of financial security. I don’t want to be in a sad place any more.

So…as of July 2016, I will own the shop that is on my land. At that time, I will be able to sell my house with the shop which will give me a great nest egg and business investment money. Waiting for three-and-a-half years will also allow me to really focus on saving money, scaling down what I own, and researching locations best suited to me and my arts and my family.

Where to start? Well, there’s so much excess stuff in my house, I think I’ll start there.

Adventure on.