Bake the damn cake

So you won’t bake a cake for a gay wedding, but you bake one for other weddings.

Is it because the “sin” is obvious? Two men together or two women together are clear to see. Easy to discriminate. But it’s okay to bake a cake for an adulterer’s wedding because you can’t see if they’re sinning. If you’re going to deny people your cake-baking services based on your perception of their sin, then you should get out of business. Because every time you bake a wedding cake, you’re baking it for a sinner. According to the logic of not baking a cake for gays, you’re endorsing every one of the sins of any of your customers because you’re taking part in one of their life celebrations.

How did Jesus treat sinners? He loved them. Did he turn them away from his presence? No, he loved them. In the face of all their sin. In fact, he sent their accusers away shame-faced.

If you’re a Christian, you should go out of your way to show love toward anyone who comes into your business. If you’re following Jesus, you should be willing to shed your blood for anyone who comes into your business.

Show people love. Accept them simply as human beings. Their sin has nothing to do with you. Jesus did more than bake a cake for sinners. He bled for them. He died for them.

This is how Jesus shows love for sinners. How dare he endorse all that sin by showing love?!

This is how Jesus shows love for sinners. How dare he endorse all that sin by showing love?!

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

There is terror in the Christian church. It is the terrible fear of eternal damnation and torture. The fear of hell. Not even the fear of the omnipotent God, but the fear of hell. I began wrestling with the concept of hell as God brought more gay friends into my life. Especially Christian gay friends who walked closely with the Lord. As I began to look at the bible for myself and not rely on pastors or teachings from my childhood, I began to see Jesus more clearly. Continue reading

Forging Beliefs

I’ve been thinking about a couple years ago, maybe not that long, when I was struggling with the concept of hell. The whole idea of eternal torture was so antithesis to the character of Jesus. I was questioning the concept because I had so many new gay friends due to my podcasting on Greetings from Nowhere. Like with my grandfather who died potentially “outside of Christ,” I was questioning not God’s compassion, but the idea of hell in the face of God’s compassion. Continue reading

Love is the only thing that will never fail

The more gay friends God places in my life, the more I have no room for judging them or thinking their attraction to the same sex is some kind of choice. You know what I see when I look at my gay friends? People. People with dreams, hopes, laughter, jobs, dirty diapers, family, dogs, cats, cars, loves, hates, homes…in a word…lives. What do I not see? Sex. That is as important or not important in a committed gay relationship as it is in a committed
straight relationship. It’s not the core. Love is the core.

I didn’t choose to be straight. I have simply always been attracted to men. The cute guy walking down the street today as I drove downtown caught my eye and kept it. Eyes on the road, Nik! They are great to look at. I never chose to be attracted to men. I just am.

It’s the same for every gay person I know. Even the ones who try to be attracted to the opposite sex to satisfy what their religion or their peers are pressuring them to do.

Condemnation will fail. Forcing one’s will on others will fail. Ridiculing others will fail. Judging others will fail. Attempting to correct others through fear will fail.

Love never fails.


I am a Christian

Over the years, my understanding of Christianity and how I walk it out in my life has changed. I came from a charismatic Pentecostal background. Here are some aspects of Christianity as I have grown up in them and my current thoughts on them:

Witnessing – Boy, was this one ever pushed in Sunday School. Get out there and tell people about Jesus! Get out there and save people! How can God be heard if we are not his voice? I have almost fully rejected the common interpretation of witnessing. Even as a child this felt innately false to me. I have come to believe that our “witness” is how we live and behave in our daily life and with the people around us.

Other People’s Sin – I no longer believe that I am responsible to point out what I consider “sin” in others. And I’m not talking about interventions when friends are hurting themselves or others. I’m talking about withholding love from someone because of their “sin.” If Jesus had done that, none of us could ever enter into a love relationship with our Creator. I have enough sin of my own to deal with without behaving as if I’m an authority on how others should live their lives.

Love God, Love others as you love yourself – I believe this is how we are to live. No nit picky rules and regulations (though, such rules do make it easier to feel holy and acceptable), just messy, unchartable love. Love is what will draw people to Jesus through us. Jesus is responsible for our transformation—we can’t transform ourselves let alone anyone else.

Jesus was, and is, God – This belief, which has no proof other than personal experience, is unshakable in me. Belief is a choice and everyone has to make that choice for themselves. I believe we are a created race of beings and I believe it is arrogance to think we couldn’t be created. We create amazing things all the time. Why couldn’t there be a greater intelligence than ours out there that could’ve fashioned us is? To think that impossible is, in my opinion, the height of hubris. I believe God wanted to speak to us with a face we could see and touch, a voice we could hear, a body we could recognize and not be afraid of. I also believe he did this to live a human life and fulfill his own moral requirements of us. So that when he died without having broken any of these requirements, he would have the authority to forgive us when we did break them. I believe God wants to be in loving relationship with his creation and that’s why he did what he did.

I love him. I always will. He fills my life with peace in the midst of uncertainty, and hope in the midst of obscurity. He makes life, well, alive! And he meets each of us where we are and loves us as we are. God is good.

What life is about

I just received a valentine from one of my dearest girlfriends. Our friendship means so much to both of us because no matter what we are going through, we are there for each other…even when we’re mad at each other, which is rare.

It made me thing, wow. I’m having a healthy impact on TJ’s life and she’s having a healthy impact on mine. We increase the quality of life for each other and that’s a huge blessing. I think this is why we are here. In my beliefs, loving others is second only to loving God. Everything else we do in life that isn’t basic-necessity-related, is just icing on the cake. The cake (loving God and loving others) is good enough for a rich, full life.