Today is gorgeous. Bright, blue skies with sheer, barely visible clouds. Most likely cold–I haven’t been out there yet. But what a day! Soon I’ll be down at the Pressroom Theatre, helping with the move. Then down to Revolution Skate to swap out elbow and knee pads that were too small. And then more roller skating down by the river.

This is an easy day to practice not being judgemental of myself. We all know that we shouldn’t be judgmental with others, but we seem to feel free to beat up on ourselves. As many of my friends know, I’ve recently lost 25 pounds on the Medifast plan. But, boy, has it tanked since I hit that 25 pound loss. It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but my old eating habits have come back with a vengeance. And along with them, the discouraging voice that is so familiar, I hardly even recognize that it’s there. “Why did I eat that?” “God, I have no self control!” “There’s no way I can do this.” Would I ever say those things to a discouraged friend? Why do I let me say them to myself?

This is where the battle is joined. This is when I’ve always indulged in food to make myself feel better. My body and emotions are tolerating the loss of 25 pounds, but they’re drawing a line. If I want to go further, I need to step into those unhappy emotions, the pain of saying no to myself and not getting what I want, the awfulness of living in and through whatever discomfort I’m trying to alleviate. Ah, the joys of changing ingrained habits.

But as with anything that takes effort to achieve, I honestly believe it will be worth the pain.