I was learning how to swing a kettlebell last night at the Inner Circle Gym. It was exciting to learn something new and I realized that when using the correct technique to engage the right muscles and protect my back, I could safely swing a 35lb kettlebell. In my pride and fervor, I asked Adam (the teacher) how I should approach kettlebell swings when they were next included in one of the circuit classes I attend. He paused, then said, “Well, you wouldn’t want that to be the next time you swing the kettlebell. You would want to practice for a while first.”
I nodded, but inside I was not happy. Recognizing that reaction, I realized that I am at a crossroads in this fitness adventure. My goal has been to attend two circuit classes a week until it is an ingrained habit. I have done so for two and a half months. But practicing with a kettlebell would mean time outside of the circuit class. Practicing with a kettlebell would mean more commitment.
And that’s when I said to myself, “What am I doing here? Do I really want to do this? Do I want to be fit or am I just playing at being fit?”
I’m not trying to judge myself, but the reality is, if I want to swing a kettlebell during circuit, I need to face additional commitment as well as my food addiction. The circuit classes have gotten me a long way, but being able to add the swings means that some of the time I devote to eating and relaxation will need to be budgeted elsewhere.
I think I’m ready. But I’m not necessarily happy about it. More determined than happy, I think.
